Stark

Yesterday had been extremely odd, and exhausting, even for here. Today had been fine for Stark though. Much less chaotic. He hadn’t turned into anyone or anything he shouldn’t have, for one thing. That was always a positive. His mask had stayed where it was meant to, which also helped make for a more pleasant day. Wine class had presumably been fine as well but now he was back in his apartment and settling in for the night.

He’d eaten (a meal not entirely made up of sugar, even) and cleaned up the kitchen. It could be an early night, he thought, or maybe he would curl up on his couch and watch a food program, or look for recipe inspirations for class tomorrow. Maybe even both.

For now, he’d shower. Perhaps shave. It would be better to have a freshly shaved head before facing paintball tomorrow in case Anakin tried (or accomplished) anything. That sounded good to Stark. A shower, a shave, and a quiet night in.

So that’s where he was, in the shower (without his mask, because it was easier not to get the straps wet than to dry them after) in his empty and locked apartment. At least, the door was locked the last time he checked.


[Stark is clearly expecting nobody. I am expecting 1 or 2 neighbors for maximum awkwardness! :D]

Nightmares were nothing new to Stark. He’d had nightmares most of his life. Cycles of it had been living nightmares. What was happening now felt different than the usual bad dreams. It felt much more real. It felt like being back in every terrible memory he had. And he had so many memories between his own and those he had absorbed from others.

So when he’d woken early Wednesday morning shaking and his cheek wet with tears he had shrugged, washed his face, and carried on with his day. When the same thing happened Thursday, even earlier, he’d paced anxiously around the entire apartment for hours as if to reassure himself there were no Scarrans, there was no Scorpius, and he was not trapped in a cell. Of course there were no Scarrans here. There had never been Scarrans here. Scorpius was long gone. Stark hadn’t been in a cell for a very long time. His doors locked from the inside now. He was free to move about as he liked.

He’d stayed awake until it was time for class, still anxiously pacing, still finding himself reliving moments best forgotten. Class had thankfully been uneventful.

Now it was very early Friday, at least he thought it was, and things had only gotten worse. He’d tried to avoid sleeping but that hadn’t helped. It still wasn’t helping.

Every door he runs toward is closed. Every route he takes that might lead to Command is blocked off. Still he runs through Moya’s corridors, desperate to find a way. He has to get there. The alternative is unthinkable.

“Where to go? Where to go? WHERE TO GO?”

He keeps running. Keeps trying every path he can think of. Keeps finding nothing but dead ends.

He knows what’s about to occur. He knows Zhaan is leaving him, leaving all of them, and he can’t let that happen. If he can get to her though, if he can reach her, he can stop this. He can stop her. Or at the very least he can be with her. Go with her. Help her. She shouldn’t be alone. HE shouldn’t be alone and she’s going to leave him alone. Again. There wasn’t enough time. They had just needed more time. He needed more time. He could find her a planet where she could heal if he only had enough time.

Another sealed passageway and he knows it’s too late. He won’t be able to reach her. He turns away from this final failed attempt and falls to his knees, screaming. She is beyond his reach. She is beyond his touch. She is beyond his help. It isn’t fair, and nothing has ever been fair, and she is going to be lost forever and his screams are echoing throughout the passageway. He is alone, again. Still.


[This was meant to go up earlier and the day got away from me but time is meaningless so it’s fine. Can absolutely be open if any neighbors heard the screaming. Also he’s totally always been living here since he came back what do you mean you never noticed? He’s been here the whole time. For reals. I swear.]