"Hi, this is Phoebe, welcoming you to Fandom High. I know that you're probably freaked out about some of the chaos here and confused over what classes to take. This is where I lend a hand. I suggest taking Celtic Studies and Arthurian Traditions with Professor Camulus. He's a great guy and he knows everything there is to know about his field of teaching. Trust me, you won't regret it. Please register for his classes so he doesn't stuff me and mount me on the wall like a trophy?" There's a pause then she continues. "I'm really cute and very attached to breathing, so I'd appreciate it if you would register for his two classes. I promise it'll be a worthwhile adventure..."
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