Somewhere near a tunnel entrance, Tuesday 4/12

[stykera]

The raccoons on the island often acted oddly. They were raccoons. This was Fandom. That was to be expected. It was possible, however, that they were acting odder than usual of late.

That might have something to do with the list of spring cleaning steps that one of them had found and decided to follow. Or it might have something to do with whatever they were doing in the tunnels that was requiring more cleaning than usual.

At least it seemed like they were doing more cleaning than usual. The wheelbarrow full of cleaning supplies that was being pushed by 2 raccoons towards an entrance to the tunnels with a box from JGoB carefully balanced on top indicated that cleaning might be happening, in any case.

The signs that had been put up seemed to indicate something more than cleaning might be happening, however. The signs and the sounds coming from the tunnels.

Those signs weren’t suspicious at all though, right? Right.


[Some folks are expected.]

Comments

[stykera]

There were going to be so many rabies shots administered today. So many.

"They probably won't bite," Stark offered. "They haven't bitten me." Yet.

Some of those raccoons were looking pretty aggravated right now.

[hatesparadise]

"Just. Don't piss them off. Okay?"

That was asking too much, Danny.

[grenadesandohana]

"Of course I won't," Steve said, clicking the very shiny, excellent spring cleaning, raccoons, chains from Stark and then lunging out of the way as the raccoons charged at him.

"I've used grenades on you before!" he threatened.

#NotAllRaccoons, Steve.

[stykera]

Steve. Steve, no.

"We're in a tunnel," Stark pointed out in the resigned tones of someone who had been involved in too many terrible plans utilizing explosives in the past. "And I think you've made them angry."

All those bared teeth were a good indicator of anger, yes.

"Definitely angry. We should go." Now that he had full use of both legs again and all.

[hatesparadise]

"Do not use a grenade!" Danny snapped, waving Stark along to get out of there before they were all attacked.

[grenadesandohana]

"Flashbangs aren't really grenades," Steve said, rolling one across the floor as far from where they were as he could. "Do not pick that up," he yelled at a raccoon who just saw shiny and went to pick it up and put it in the shiny thing pile.

Well. This was gonna go poorly.

[hatesparadise]

"They very much still are!" Danny snapped as the flashbang moved along the floor toward where the stills were.

[stykera]

At least Stark was no longer part of the pile of shiny things. That would have gone poorly.

More poorly than a flashbang being set off in an unground bunker with a still already was going to go, anyway.

The raccoons were going to be even madder.

[hatesparadise]

Oh yeah, that little hide out went up in a WHOOSH of flames and the raccoons were screaming as they rushed the trio to escape along with them.

"Run! Just run!"

[fates_jaye]

You know what was an interesting position to be in? Standing out of the way of all of this, just hearing some stuff, ready with a camera.

Because one second it was a cautious, "Uh, guys?" and a second later it was more "ahhhhh" and running and a raccoon trying to push her over.

(All while still recording.)

[stykera]

There was a lot of yelling and running happening right now. Luckily Stark had a lot of experience doing both.

Someone, somewhere, would probably pay good money for this ridiculous footage.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve pulled his phone from his pocket as he ran, punching the number for the fire house. "Please have reception--" he muttered, connecting to a dispatcher who had clearly just woken up.

"On their way," he reported, hanging up. "Super excited about it."

[designateddadfriend]

And in practically no time at all -- this island was not that large, and the firefighters were really excited -- two men and a dog wearing turnouts arrived with hoses, barely dodging the scorched raccoons fleeing the scene.

"Fandom Fire Department!" Travis announced, just managing to sound more professional than excited.

[firehousehimbo]

"Yeah, Fandom--what--" Buck stared at the raccoons running by. "Did the raccoons start the fire?"

Focus, Buckley.

[hatesparadise]

"What did I tell you about grenades?!" Ah, welcome to the bickering session, folks.

[grenadesandohana]

"It would've been fine if they hadn't moved it towards the alcohol," Steve said. "Yes, it's the raccoons' fault. They're also cult leaders and kidnappers."

[fates_jaye]

Don't mind Jaye, recording them, too. Really obviously.

Because nobody was gonna believe it outside of this island.

[designateddadfriend]

“Seriously?!” Travis asked, horrified. “They don’t have another portable hole, do they?”

[firehousehimbo]

"Cult leaders? Cool." EVAN. "I need to hear all about this--after we're done."

Fire first, raccoon L. Ron Hubbard later.

"The kidnappees are gone, right?" Buck asked. "Or are we searching for victims here?"

[grenadesandohana]

"Pretty sure they beat us out of the room," Steve said. "They're fast little jerks."

#NotallRaccoons, Steve.

"Did you have to learn raccoon CPR?"

FOCUS, STEVE.

[stykera]

"I'm not taking care of any raccoons," Stark muttered from where he'd dropped to the ground.

"Don't touch me," he snapped at one of the raccoons who had gotten a little too close.

[designateddadfriend]

. . . Right.

"Buck, take point on the flames. I'll make sure everyone clears out."

Travis dropped to a crouch next to Stark. "Hey. Stark, buddy. You doing okay?"

[firehousehimbo]

"Got it," Buck said with a nod. "If any raccoons look evil I'll blast 'em for you guys."

[stykera]

"Good," Stark said with more force than was strictly necessary. He was not a raccoon fan at this time. Possibly never again. They could all get blasted and he'd be fine with it right now.

"And," he continued, turning to Travis, "I'm...yes. Okay." Kind of smokey, definitely scratched up a bit by unhappy raccoons, but okay worked as a descriptor, sure.

[grenadesandohana]

"Let's maybe get you some sunlight and a rabies shot," Steve suggested, already feeling Danny's glare on the back of his neck.