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MHA #8, Friday morning
It had been weeks now since Faye had blindsided Stark with the news she was leaving. He was still hurt. He was still confused. He was still, on the very rare occasions when he allowed himself to admit it, angry. Nothing was helping, not even his friends, though at least they’d tried. They had tried. He had tried. He was still trying. It wasn’t enough. Winter had always been difficult for Stark. This was the worst one yet though it had started off so well. Or he’d thought it had. He’d thought a lot of things at the beginning of the year that were no longer true. Maybe they never had been. He was doubting everything now.
There had been no word from her since she walked out. He wanted to know that she was alright, if nothing else. He would still be hurt and he would still be confused but at least he wouldn’t be so worried. And if he knew she was alright that would mean she cared at least enough to let him know and that would help the hurt and the anger, a little. But she hadn’t let him know anything and he was unwilling to try and reach out himself. He was absolutely certain he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he couldn’t reach her or if she refused to speak with him if he did manage to make contact. He was making another, long overdue, call today instead.
Or he would be once he was done pacing inside his apartment. He’d done that so often lately. Pacing, talking to himself, other old habits that had mostly fallen away in recent months were all making a return. He had his comms out, twirling the bit of metal in his fingers as he walked, trying to work up the nerve to actually try and contact the ship. Finally, annoyed at himself, he sighed heavily and tried to make a connection.
“Stark?” The confusion in Pilot’s tone was to be expected. It wasn’t as if Stark contacted Moya often.
“Hello, Pilot.”
“Are you well? Do you require assistance?”
Stark snorted softly. “No. No, I’m not. Not at all and no, nothing you can offer, Pilot. No. I…No. Yes. Not like you meant. I wondered if…could I…I want to come back. If I may.” His voice was hesitant. He was unsure of his welcome. They might not want him onboard. He hadn’t been back in so long and they had no obligation to allow him to return.
“You are always welcome onboard, Stark,” Pilot said after the briefest pause. “Moya wishes me to convey her agreement as well. We remain within the Hynerian system should you wish to return."
“I…I don’t have a ship. Or access to one.” He wasn’t going to impose on any of his friends here in order to leave. He didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want them to answer. “I may be able to get close. I don’t know. Is Chiana there? Could I speak to her?”
Another pause from Pilot. “She is onboard. One moment.”
A crackle from the comms and then another voice. “Yeah, Pilot?”
“Hello, Chiana.”
“Stark? What’re you calling for?”
“I want to come home,” he said plaintively, voice breaking on the last word. Moya used to be home. Fandom was supposed to be home now but didn’t feel like it currently. He was lost. He hadn’t gone anywhere but he was lost all the same. “And I…I don’t have a ship. You know where I am. How to get here. I thought…you might come?”
He was regretting asking as soon as the words left his mouth. She might say no. She had come before because she was bored. There was no reason for her to come now. Certainly no reason to come all the way to Fandom. Maybe he could get a portal to somewhere close to where Moya was instead. Or maybe he would just leave here and go somewhere else entirely. Leaving was the important thing right now.
“What’s wrong with your girlfriend’s ship?”
Stark flinched though there was no one to witness it. “She’s…she’s gone. She left.”
“Oh frell, Stark, I’m sor-”
“Don’t,” he said quickly. “Not now. Will you come? You don’t have to. There’s no need. I’ll find another way. I’ll go somewhere else. I just…I need to not be here. I need to leave. I can’t do this. I can’t stay. Staying here hurts. I need…I don’t know what I need but it isn’t here. Whatever it is. Nevermind. I shouldn’t have asked. Shouldn’t have bothered you. Either of you. I should know better.”
“Stark? Shut up. Pilot, I-”
“The DRDs are already prepping a transport pod for your use, Chiana.”
Stark’s relieved sigh sounded overly loud to his ears. “Thank you. Both of you. Pilot, if you could send the coordinates I’ll get as close as I can.” He’d try Portalocity as soon as this conversation was over.
Pilot rattled off a set of numbers and repeated them once.
“Thank you. I’ll call back. When I know where I’ll be."
Stark had his phone out trying for a portal as soon as he disconnected. He could get to one of the moons in the Hynerian system if he left within the hour. That was fine. Leaving now was fine. Leaving now meant avoiding parties and Three Minute Dates and everything about Monday. There was no reason to wait. Not really. He wasn’t needed here. He wasn’t needed anywhere. That had been made far too clear.
He wrote a short text after booking the portal, sent to a few friends.
Going back to Moya.
I’ll try to come back. When things are better.
When I’m better.
I’m sorry.
He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for leaving, for his current state, for not telling anyone in person, or a combination of all of those things. Apologizing just felt necessary.
[Can be open to respond to the text or try and catch him before he catches his portal. If you think you should have gotten one of those texts and didn't, feel free. Stark’s going away while I try and hopefully figure out how to get him to be functional again instead of just hurt and sad and broken forever.]
There had been no word from her since she walked out. He wanted to know that she was alright, if nothing else. He would still be hurt and he would still be confused but at least he wouldn’t be so worried. And if he knew she was alright that would mean she cared at least enough to let him know and that would help the hurt and the anger, a little. But she hadn’t let him know anything and he was unwilling to try and reach out himself. He was absolutely certain he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he couldn’t reach her or if she refused to speak with him if he did manage to make contact. He was making another, long overdue, call today instead.
Or he would be once he was done pacing inside his apartment. He’d done that so often lately. Pacing, talking to himself, other old habits that had mostly fallen away in recent months were all making a return. He had his comms out, twirling the bit of metal in his fingers as he walked, trying to work up the nerve to actually try and contact the ship. Finally, annoyed at himself, he sighed heavily and tried to make a connection.
“Stark?” The confusion in Pilot’s tone was to be expected. It wasn’t as if Stark contacted Moya often.
“Hello, Pilot.”
“Are you well? Do you require assistance?”
Stark snorted softly. “No. No, I’m not. Not at all and no, nothing you can offer, Pilot. No. I…No. Yes. Not like you meant. I wondered if…could I…I want to come back. If I may.” His voice was hesitant. He was unsure of his welcome. They might not want him onboard. He hadn’t been back in so long and they had no obligation to allow him to return.
“You are always welcome onboard, Stark,” Pilot said after the briefest pause. “Moya wishes me to convey her agreement as well. We remain within the Hynerian system should you wish to return."
“I…I don’t have a ship. Or access to one.” He wasn’t going to impose on any of his friends here in order to leave. He didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want them to answer. “I may be able to get close. I don’t know. Is Chiana there? Could I speak to her?”
Another pause from Pilot. “She is onboard. One moment.”
A crackle from the comms and then another voice. “Yeah, Pilot?”
“Hello, Chiana.”
“Stark? What’re you calling for?”
“I want to come home,” he said plaintively, voice breaking on the last word. Moya used to be home. Fandom was supposed to be home now but didn’t feel like it currently. He was lost. He hadn’t gone anywhere but he was lost all the same. “And I…I don’t have a ship. You know where I am. How to get here. I thought…you might come?”
He was regretting asking as soon as the words left his mouth. She might say no. She had come before because she was bored. There was no reason for her to come now. Certainly no reason to come all the way to Fandom. Maybe he could get a portal to somewhere close to where Moya was instead. Or maybe he would just leave here and go somewhere else entirely. Leaving was the important thing right now.
“What’s wrong with your girlfriend’s ship?”
Stark flinched though there was no one to witness it. “She’s…she’s gone. She left.”
“Oh frell, Stark, I’m sor-”
“Don’t,” he said quickly. “Not now. Will you come? You don’t have to. There’s no need. I’ll find another way. I’ll go somewhere else. I just…I need to not be here. I need to leave. I can’t do this. I can’t stay. Staying here hurts. I need…I don’t know what I need but it isn’t here. Whatever it is. Nevermind. I shouldn’t have asked. Shouldn’t have bothered you. Either of you. I should know better.”
“Stark? Shut up. Pilot, I-”
“The DRDs are already prepping a transport pod for your use, Chiana.”
Stark’s relieved sigh sounded overly loud to his ears. “Thank you. Both of you. Pilot, if you could send the coordinates I’ll get as close as I can.” He’d try Portalocity as soon as this conversation was over.
Pilot rattled off a set of numbers and repeated them once.
“Thank you. I’ll call back. When I know where I’ll be."
Stark had his phone out trying for a portal as soon as he disconnected. He could get to one of the moons in the Hynerian system if he left within the hour. That was fine. Leaving now was fine. Leaving now meant avoiding parties and Three Minute Dates and everything about Monday. There was no reason to wait. Not really. He wasn’t needed here. He wasn’t needed anywhere. That had been made far too clear.
He wrote a short text after booking the portal, sent to a few friends.
Going back to Moya.
I’ll try to come back. When things are better.
When I’m better.
I’m sorry.
He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for leaving, for his current state, for not telling anyone in person, or a combination of all of those things. Apologizing just felt necessary.
[Can be open to respond to the text or try and catch him before he catches his portal. If you think you should have gotten one of those texts and didn't, feel free. Stark’s going away while I try and hopefully figure out how to get him to be functional again instead of just hurt and sad and broken forever.]