stykera: (sad)
[personal profile] stykera
Stark had been unwilling, at first, to accept the fact that the ever-increasing list of disappearances might grow to include someone he cared about. That was what had kept him, so far, from trying to contact Moya. That, and the fact that regular contact was just not something Stark had ever excelled at.

But his concern had overcome any hesitation and he had taken his comms out and tried to call Moya. He held his breath, waiting, without even realizing it until he let out a sigh of relief when Pilot's voice finally came through.


"Stark?" Pilot's confusion at being contacted by the Banik was understandable. "This is...unexpected."

"I know. I should call more often. Or at least send a note. Or an email? But you don't have those. Nevermind. I thought...I just wanted to see if everyone is well. Are you well? And Moya?"

"Moya and I are fine, Stark," Pilot answered slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"I..." Stark shrugged, though he knew Pilot couldn't see him. "I was worried. Things are strange here. Always strange, but stranger now. Things have been happening. Not just here. Everywhere. I wanted to know if they were happening there too."

"What things?" Pilot asked. Conversing with the Banik could be frustrating at times. "Are you well?"

"Fine, fine," Stark said dismissively. "I am fine. What about everyone else?"

"Dominar Rygel is...himself," Pilot said, which earned an unseen, small smile from Stark. "As is Crichton."

"Chiana?" Stark asked, somewhat anxiously. "Aeryn? The baby?"

"Are you sure you are well?" Pilot asked. "Chiana is on a commerce planet. But the other...Who? What baby?"

Stark had been pacing as he talked. Now he stopped and sat down heavily on the floor.


"Aeryn Sun," Stark said softly. "And her child. Crichton's child."

"Commander Crichton has never mentioned a child," Pilot answered. "And I have never heard of an Aeryn Sun."

"I...I am sorry to have bothered you Pilot," Stark said after a pause, his voice barely above a whisper. He cut the connection before Pilot could respond.

If Aeryn wasn't there. If Aeryn had never existed. Then Zhaan had died for nothing. Or had she? If Aeryn hadn't been there, Zhaan wouldn't have sacrificed herself. But she must have, because she was still gone. What if she had never existed, as well? He knew she had. But what if no-one else could remember? The idea of Zhaan, his Zhaan, not existing was too much to bear.

His head hurt. Everything hurt. This wasn't right. Nothing about this was right.

He understood death. Accepted death. (Most death.) This was something entirely different, this complete erasing of entire lives. This was far worse than death. Death was supposed to happen and it wasn't always a bad thing. It could be a blessing. With death there was always the other side, waiting. With this there was simply nothing and there never had been. This he did not understand and did not, could not, accept.

He closed his eye and let his head fall back against the wall. He was too exhausted suddenly to do anything else.

[Meant to be establishy, though it could be open I suppose.]


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March 2012

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